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Oct 31, 2:49 PM

This man saved my life last year when my house was burning down. He saved my dog and my cat and my 54 giraffes when it burnt down. My friend was also saved by him, when they were choking on a quesadilla. That is why I urge you to accept this great man into the position he is applying for. If you care about the safety and security of your constituents, this is the staff member to hire. Thank you, and farewell.